Resilience – it is NOT just sucking it up. It is persisting, despite life’s school of hard knocks. Overcoming disappointment, taking on learnings after feedback or failure, falling off your bike and getting back on.
Photo courtesy of Miguel Bruna – Unsplash
I love the Japanese proverb –
“Fall down 7 times, get up 8” as it captures its essence so well. Resilience is a practice of mental recovery, choosing to grow and learn and try again.
From time to time there are skills and situations that just come naturally – most other times there are skills and situations that take extended practice (and discomfort) to become competent and then master.
Anyone can be awesome when they are tapping into natural talent – it takes resilience to be able to master something new.
I remember when I was learning to wakeboard (picture water skiing but with a skateboard). Others would make it look easy, jumping the wake and landing it with grace. It took many efforts for me just to be able stand up, and more than a few water stacks and face plants before I was able to move more comfortably across the boats wake and get a little air between the water and my board.
What helps?
One thing that helped me keep resilient during this time, was the fact that it was new to others in my family too. We were all learning, falling and trying again together. In encouraging each other we were able to find the resilience to get up and try again ourselves. We would see a little improvement and so we would try again.
Another thing that helped, we were motivated to succeed. Sure, it hurt when you stacked, but it looked cool and felt really awesome when you got it right; so, we persisted.
We must understand and accept that things, life’s challenges, won’t always be easy – but we can use our self- awareness to purposefully build strategies and skills to better adapt, face and overcome challenge, disappointment and adversity.
Who of us have received feedback on a report, essay or comms piece we have written? An experience where several drafts later we are finally close to delivering something that meets the expectations of our senior. The equivalent of red pen amendments and critiques having dissected something we had once been satisfied with, if not proud of. Learning in the workplace can be tough. Resilience will get you so far. Resilience coupled with strategy will take you further faster.
Ever heard the expression – insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? One thing that will dissolve your resolve faster than failure, is failing the same way over and over. Get creative. Change it up!
Take a moment to unpack the situation. Why did this attempt not succeed? What can you try differently next time? If you don’t know, chat with your senior (or a friend or mentor) and ask them; “What three things can I focus on to improve my ability to ‘do this’?”.
“Be careful what you say about yourself… because you are always listening” – Lisa M. Hayes
Be strategic to be resilient
If you know you have a challenge to overcome, use self-awareness to
Keep a positive mindset with constructive self-talk. Encouraging self-talk is most helpful.
Take care of yourself – ensure you are getting good sleep, food and movement to keep your energy levels up.
Connect with others – others who are also learning, and others that can support, encourage or mentor you.
Maintain Perspective – keep an eye on the big picture, don’t get stuck in the detail. Will it matter in 5 years from now? Be curious…What is good about this? How is this making me stronger or smarter?
Use your strengths - Consider what has worked for you in the past. How do you learn best? What skills and resources have you got that can help in this situation?
While we may not feel as robust by the 8th attempt, it is helpful to remember, we are one attempt closer to progressing.
Reach out if you want help to create and practice strategies to build a more resilient you.
I’ll be posting every weekday in August. Follow me to benefit from my Adapt in August series and build your capability for adapting to change.
Keep well,
Vicki
My business is helping you with yours…
If you would like further information or to arrange some support in building this skill please don’t hesitate to contact me. I look forward to helping you build your success your way.
Yours in success,
Vicki
